Who is talking to whom?

This post was triggered by the pattern of interactions that I observed in one of the alumni groups that I am part of. Most of the people in this group had worked together for a period of 3-5 years about 20 years ago. After that, there was not much interaction among these group members, till a WhatsApp group was set up a couple of years ago.

So, the ‘shared experience’ of this group was from a period about 18-22 years ago, when most of the members in this group would have been in their twenties or early thirties. So, the current interaction is taking place when most of the members are in their forties or early fifties. Very different life stages indeed!

This can lead to a wide variety of scenarios, in terms of ‘who is talking to whom’. For example,

• the ‘younger selves’ of the members are talking to each other about their shared experience (that happened a long time ago)
• the 'current selves' of the members are taking to each other about their current situation
• the ‘younger selves’ of the members are talking to each other about their current situation
• the 'current selves' of the members are talking to each other about their ‘old’ (shared) experience

I guess, the most ‘interesting’ interactions occur when the ‘current self’ of a member 'unexpectedly' interacts with the ‘younger self’ of another member. In a way, this is similar to a ‘crossed transaction’ in Transactional Analysis (TA), because the response one gets is from a 'different self' (different 'ego state', in TA terms) of the other person as compared to what one was trying interact with. It is very much possible that different people are looking for different patterns of interaction in  the alumni group. 

Since the alumni groups are created based primary on a 'shared experience that took place a long time ago', people can have varying expectations on the extent to which they want the members in the group, including themselves, to 'grow up' - in terms of the behavior/interaction in the group. If some of the members had joined the alumni group mainly to 'relive the good-old days' or to 'be their young self again', then 'growing up' might not be such an obviously correct choice for them, when it comes to their behavior in the alumni group (and this can annoy some of the other members in the group who have different expectations)!

These 'crossed transactions'  can lead to rage, tears, frustration, laughter or indifference. This is also one of the most common reasons* why people leave such WhatsApp groups (though they tend to come back after a while). The key factor that influences the outcome of this 'crossed transaction' is the level of trust/strength of the relationship between the members. If others join in on this interaction (from their various 'selves'), the situation can get even more 'interesting' and unpredictable!

*Note : Apart from the crossed transactions mentioned above (which is, in a way, a 'perceived violation of the psychological territory' of a group member), another important reason why people leave alumni WhatsApp groups is a 'perceived violation of their ideological territory'. As we get older, we tend to solidify our positions/ideologies in life. In a way, this is a attempt to make our life easier/ a mechanism to simplify the complexities in decision-making. If I define myself as a socialist  (or as a religious person or as a liberal), I can view and respond to life from that perspective. While this simplifies decision making, it can lead to inflexibility and intolerance. So, if someone says something in the WhatsApp group, that goes against my ideology, I am likely to perceive it as a personal insult and feel compelled to respond to it or to leave the group. This is especially so since the shared experience (that would have acted as a bonding factor/integrating mechanism) is in the distant past and it is no longer strong enough/active enough to help in resolving these perceived violations of ideological territory. 

Have you come across such patterns of interaction? Any observations/comments?

Unorthodox concepts in HR : Career-Limiting Moves(CLMs)

In this post, let's continue our exploration of the Unorthodox concepts in People Management. We have been exploring concepts that are unlikely to be found in ‘respectable’ text books (and also not taught in ‘premier’ business schools) but are very much real in the paradoxical world of people management (See ‘The attrition principle’,  'In the valley of attrition' , 'Sublimation of vision statements', 'Computer-controlled Manager Empowerment', ‘Training the Victim’ ,‘Two plus Two personality profiling’, 'Herophobia', 'Type N and Type O organizations', ‘The plus one problem’, ‘Exporting your problems’, ‘The IR mindset’ and “Magical Transformation of Talent” for the previous posts in this series).

The most popular informal concept in the domain of people management seems to be that of a ‘career-limiting move’(CLM). In fact, it is so popular that I was not even sure if it can be included in this series featuring the unorthodox concepts in HR. However, looking at the ‘richness’ of the CLM concept and its impact, I decided to do a brief discussion on CLM here.

A Career-Limiting Move (CLM) is an act that is likely to adversely impact the career prospects of a person. This 'act' can be that of 'omission' or 'commission', though the latter is more common. Also, this 'act' might be done by the individual (whose career is getting impacted) or by others who have power over the individual (e.g. by his/her manager or the organization). The ‘richness’ of the concept comes from the various ways in which this term is used and also from the causes/motivations that lead to CLMs.

Let’s look at some of the ways in which the term CLM is used: 

• The most common use of the term CLM is as a warning to someone. We tell someone that a particular action would be a CLM for him/her, to warn the person against following a particular course of action.
• Another use of the term CLM is as a prediction. When we hear about someone moving to a particular role, we might say that it would be a CLM for him/her, implying that this move is going to adversely impact his/her career. 
• Similarly, CLM can be realization on hindsight. When we look back, we might realize that a particular action in the past turned out to be a CLM.
• Yet another use of the term is CLM is to describe a particular aspect of the culture of an organization. We might say that questioning senior leaders is a CLM in a particular organization.

Now let’s look at some of the key factors that lead to CLMs:

• Lack of alignment between the individual and the organization (as represented by the managers/leaders) on  ‘what good lookslike’. Similarly, a clash between individual and organization ‘values’ can also lead to CLMs.
• The organization failing to differentiate between a ‘stretch role’ and a ‘designed to fail’ role, moving a person to such a ‘designed to fail’ role, and, that move becoming a CLM for him/her. See ‘Of stretch roles and designed to fail roles’ for more details.
• 'Self-Destructive Intelligence Syndrome’ (SDIS): This is ‘what makes smart people do stupid things’ that turn out be career-limiting. While sometimes  this could just be a matter of misjudging the situation, sometimes this could also be a deliberate act of violating the rules/regulations. 
• Plain bad luck :Just being ‘at the wrong place/at the wrong time’ can turn out to be career-limiting! Also, unpredictable elements in the context can turn what could otherwise have been a perfectly good move into a career-limiting one. 

So, is there a ‘bright side’ to CLMs? Yes, what appears to be a CLM might not necessarily turn out to be like that. Even when there is some adverse impact because of the CLM, it might often be a temporary setback. It is even possible that what appeared to be a CLM turns out to be something that enhances one’s career (see ‘Of competencies and carbohydrates’ and ‘OD Managers as Court Jesters’ for two personal examples). This happens mainly because CLMs often involve pushing the unstated boundaries’ and sometimes it can work out very well. Also, standing up for what one believes is right is something that is too important to be let go because of CLM warnings. We must also remember that not all CLMs have a bad ending! Yes, having great managers/leaders very much enhances this possibility!

I have also come across situations where the CLM warning was based on the fears (ghosts!) in the mind of the person giving the warning and not based on reality. Similarly, sometimes a CLM warning could be an attempt to protect the interests of the person who is giving the warning (see the ‘IR mindset’ for more). So, we must do a reality check before acting on CLM warnings we get!

Any comments/ideas?